The empty nest mirage

According to the conventional narrative, we became empty nesters once we delivered Gaby to UCLA in late September 2017. The narrative is incorrect, as is the stereotype of what 'empty nesters' plant to do -- or actually do -- once they achieve this status.

Demographic diversity is probably the best explanation for the demise of the empty nester concept, some of it related to the return of the 'sandwich generation' concept. The Wall Street Journal article today offers some interesting statistics, primarily about the increase in the average age of mothers at birth ("The mean age of mothers giving birth was 27.2 in 2000, compared with 24.6 in 1970, according to data from the federal National Center for Health Statistics."), the percentage of 18-34 year olds living at home ("In 2021, 34% of 18- to 34-year-olds were living with their parents, compared with 29% in 2007"), and the need to care for elderly parents:

About 16.8% of American adults are caring for someone age 50 or older, according to a 2020 report from the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP. That is up from 14.3% in 2015. Caregivers of older adults are about 50 years old, on average, and are typically taking care of a parent.

The Window to Enjoy Your Empty Nest Is Shrinking - WSJ.pdf

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The global political pandemic has highlighted the hundreds of millions of people over the age of 65 and their ill health while also making financial health for millennials much more problematic. Basically accelerating a trend that has been in place all of this century, the elderly are getting more vulnerable health wise as their net worth has increased, while this born in the last fifteen years of the twentieth century have seen health protected by age and science while their financial prospects continue to dwindle. With the pandemic, the average age of this dying with (not necessarily 'from') the virus has averages well above average life expectancy, while life expectancy has increased; Mother Nature has, in effect, harvested or culled from the population, the oldest, most vulnerable and -- asa group -- the wealthiest subpopulation in the history of the world in record numbers.

Back to empty nesting: Sending children off to college does not end their dependency on their parents. In fact, that dependency is increasing and the delay in arriving at the 'empty nest' stage for parents has been extended. At the other end of the age spectrum, with mothers giving birth later, by the time their children leave for college or become independent, mothers are much more likely to need to shift their time, attention and resources to care for their elderly parents; the grandparents of the college bound are more likely to be in the very late stages of life, a time where society expends the greatest share of 'healthcare' expenditures on forestalling death of the elderly. And children of these elderly parents are the primary source of funding for the housing and care of elderly parents, especially if the elderly parent needs assisted living or uninsured healthcare.

The revival of the three-generation household is becoming a more distinct possibility, with the possibility of four generations looming. While four generations may not live in a single dwelling, they are likely to find it necessary to live in close proximity. Less 'empty nest' and more 'full house."