Throw caution to the wind and...move back to Eden

June 13, 2020. Thirteen weeks of this combination of boredom mixed with occasional moments of severe anxiety has often sent me to thinking about my "return to Eden" fantasy, where I'd buy 3158 East Church Street, tear it down and then build a modern, new and improved version of the family homestead (from 1958 to 1978) in the footprint of the original structure. Maybe do the same with the garage, barn and shed.

In any case, that is just a fantasy. Several good reasons keep this off the planning board, including the fantasy uncertainty alone., i.e., what makes a fantasy interesting is the extreme unlikelihood of it coming to fruition. Meanwhile, the erratic weather of late -- hot and humid for a day or two, then cold and windy, then cloudy and stormy, then stunningly blue, dry weather -- led me to an alternative fantasy. And it's this: If I had no other ties than to Dena and given our retirement portfolio, is there something else we could do and would really prefer to do? Would we live in the mountains of Ecuador? in a flat in Edinburgh Old Town, in a leafy English village? in a small Tuscan villa outside of Florence? in northern Idaho? southern California? Or perhaps in Austin (TX), Charleston (SC), Tucson, Boise, Stone Harbor (per photo), Asheville, or Bozeman (MT)?

What kind of a living arrangement? A condo? a cabin in the woods? a sprawling ranch or a two-story home? A tiny house or a large one? Remote or in a city? Build a place big enough to then invite brothers or sisters to join us? Sell all our possessions and take a year long cruise around the world? or customize a van to be our home for the coming year or two, with no fixed destination or route?

And what would we do? Visit every old friend we know? Volunteer work? Raise crops? Go off the grid as much as possible? Take up an outside sport, hobby or adventure? Learn to play the piano? Start a business out of our garage? Fly around the world for a year, business class, staying a few months at any number of must-see places?

The best thing about this fantasy process is that it takes my mind off the drudgery of the 'new normal,' the groundhog day-like existence, the simple joy yet corresponding tedium of every day looking pretty much the same. It's much like my disdain for television shows and movies with dark or violent themes, when what I like are positive, funny, uplifting shows, ones that make me feel light-hearted and happy.

For now, I drift off into these spaces when I am out walking, letting the soundtrack take me back to people and places, people and places that I think I'd like to see again, kid only to enjoy the view for a few minutes, or to have a two-hour conversation about lives lived, loves lost, and lingering longings. People and places to savor.

At this point, you are most likely to think that I am dreaming too much or you might just have started to dream a bit yourself.