February 24, 2020: 1346 New Jersey

Lawrence, KS. Look at the 'back' porch at the right of this picture. There's an entrance door and above the porch is a single window. The window as on the landing at the top of the stairs. Walk in from the porch and enter a small living area. Walk further in to the back corner and there is a tiny circular table with two chairs. To the left, behind the living area, is a small kitchen. Now fo back to the door and turn right as you walk in and take the stairs up to the landing. At the landing turn left and enter a small bedroom with a platform bed. At the back left of the bedroom is a small bathroom.

That's it. There's a parking spot off the alley. There is no storage space. The front two-thirds of the building is home to a never seen neighbor. This is the back apartment at 1346 New Jersey in Lawrence, Kansas. This is where I lived from June 1983 to September 1984. I had just returned from a year in Laramie and would build and move into 1812 Alabama the following summer, moving in after a summer in England. While in England that summer, Carol and Beth lived in the apartment and they'd move into 1812 Alabama (see earlier post for photo) after I returned.

Carol and Beth were crazy. I met them through Bobby Friedmann and their housing needs and my housing availability meshed in the spring of 1984. Technically, they were both rising seniors at KU. Carol was stable and had a serious boyfriend. Beth was quite a bit more unstable. While they lived in 1346, I left Carol the (supposedly limited) use of my Honda Accord. She burned a cigarette hole in the front seat -- she was supposed to keep the car cigarette free -- and paid something close to a thousand dollars to replace the entire seat. That was a lot of money back then. I was earning about $35,000 a year, but to Carol, money was never a problem.

This should have been a sign of worse things to come. When they moved onto 1812 Alabama, trying to mesh my serious life with their anything-but-serious lives was interesting and often frustrating and annoying. What I did not learn until near the end of their stay in May 1985 was that Beth had failed so many courses that she had only completed 75 credits of the 120 she needed to graduate, but she went through the charade of graduation -- cap, gown, and party -- without any sense of shame or irony. I believe that she did not know that I knew, and maybe her parents did not even know. In any case, her academic performance explained many of her behaviors from the previous twelve months and she quickly moved to Kansas City and married. Carol -- I believe -- moved back to Chicago, boyfriend or not, I have no recall.

My colleagues at the university always expressed that nod nod, wink wink attitude about my lifestyle. I am sure that some of them thought that this was a very bad version of the sitcom, Three's Company, but the matter never came to any serious discussion. From male colleagues it was a wry smile and from the my female colleagues a look of disbelief or perhaps curiosity. What I did know is that the women I dated in that period did not seem to care, to to even give it a second thought. They seemed to acknowledge and accept that this was purely a temporary arrangement of convenience, with nothing worthy of concern. Carol and Beth's parents clearly had no concerns. Neither did my Lawrence priests, Bill Porter and Vince Krische. Neither did my parents.

These living arrangements made for an interesting social year. I saw way too many of Carol and Beth's friends, and even did things like go bowling with them -- just once. For the most part we had very separate lives with only the smallest of overlaps. We had three separate bedrooms and two separate bathrooms. One of the funnier memories was one time Beth 'borrowed' one of my nice sweaters and wore it as a dress.

Any regrets? No. Would I do it again? Certainly not today. If it was 1984 and I was single again, I'd probably be reluctant to do it again. But as I said, no regrets.